Root: My root is connected to safety, to the feeling of well being. I feel my power rise when I seal it, and increase my activation. I practice the breath of intensity. Before, my biggest struggle during the day was my level of activation: my energy would be too low when I needed it to be high, and vice versa. Now I breathe into the center where I need to work, and the power is there.
I learn to stimulate my anus, and stimulate/massage my prostate. I find that as I open, the deep pleasure I feel is very different. I practice clenching and unclenching my pubococcygeus (kegeling).
Sacral: I move my hips. I work every day to increase flexibility by stretching. I get orthotics. I practice lunges. In sex, I flex and extend each side of my hips to increase her stimulation, to enhance her pleasure.
My sex now is different than it was when I was a teenager. I’m not worried about coming after five minutes. That activation, the pleasure and excitement is something in which I can dwell. I can prolong. I discuss with my wife that we should let go of my ejaculation as the endpoint of the sexual encounter. If one of us needs to rest, we can, and the other can continue. My wife enters a state she’s calling the cosmic orgasm, the unending ecstasy.
Solar plexus: I maintain my posture, pulling my shoulders back and extending my chest outward. My power comes from my solar plexus, my strength and vitality. I control what I do. I wait, I listen, I watch. I become the Batman. I am strategic, and I do not enter fights I can’t win, or become lost in the bardo.
When I feel anxiety or sexual excitement (same activation, different resonance), I feel it in my solar plexus. I now become aware that it is here, and discover that my anxiety is a clue that pleasure can come. I can experience this excitement in all things, with only a different setting and physical response.
Heart: I put my hand to my chest and feel my good, strong fiery heart beat. My love, my compassion and friendliness are here. My warmth and kindness and compassion. I am a lion; the warm fire that arches up through from my heart brings a smile to my face that reveals my canines.
Throat: I speak more slowly, more distinctly. When I am writing, I often dictate, and I’ve found that more and more the words come unbidden in the voice of my characters. I’m no longer transcribing their words, the characters are speaking from me, as they represent me, some reflection or aspect of myself. My waking life, too, is only an aspect, a projection, a performance. Who I am truly is a mystery, an infinity.
Third eye: I see through the shadows to the forms. I remember things I hadn’t before, I observe and watch, lest my mouth distract me from what I know is true. I shut my eyes in order to see. I restrict what I see so that I may not be swayed by the flickering images before me. I am driving this drain, it does not drag me.
I recall a parable from Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. A circus is in town. Patrons are offered the experience of a lifetime: watch the most brutal and inhumane tortures and degredations inflicted on multiple performers, for the price of slowly being transformed into an enormous eyeball. At the other end of the tent, patrons are solicited to witness performers turned into enormous eyeballs, at the cost of enduring unspeakable depravity and torment.
This has always struck me as an apt metaphor for social media. You’re either the one performing, showing your ass for the camera, or you’re the one turned into an eyeball. I breathe, and I shut my eyes, and I step back.
I am reconnecting with my intuition. Whatever psychic qualities I possess, I am listening to them again. I am remembering my power and using it.
There are moments of synchronicities. Yesterday, I was listening to a lecture on synchronicity, and my seven year old daughter offered this story, unbidden:
“Dad, my friends said one day on the bus that the bus would explode the next day. Then the next day, we had bus 43 instead of 37. So I think the bus exploded. It’s proof that magic was real or people have powers.”
So she’s on the same page.
Crown: I embody my spirit. I touch lives. My children are my life and my heart. My wife, my love. I find that my trust for the world is increasing. I find that there’s nothing and no reason to fear as I extend myself, knowing that what I give is good. I have wisdom, and what I offer is healing and peace.