Life has an interesting way of turning out so different than what you imagine as a kid. My dream was always a husband and kids in a sweet small house where we would enjoy each other. Lots of family time, games, tickles, outdoors adventures, daydreaming outside on grass and lots of laughter, were my images. It was what felt would fill a deep void from how I was raised and all that happened in my childhood.
Now at 38 years old, married for almost 16 years and with 3 kids, reality is different than my childhood thoughts. Being married and having kids has taught me about love, grace, happiness, sadness, pain, hurt, resentment, bitterness, self control, patience, kindness, compassion, and grace…. it has been an unexpected journey with many mountains and valleys.
It is easy to see how the idea of a husband and kids make you think of how can I share every bit of me, my love, my interests, my fears, my dreams, my mind, my heart, my soul, my heart… to me having a husband is having a best friend you can share your true self, your dreams, hopes, desires, and can be your complete self the good and bad. It is a partner that is committed to all of you and you can trust no matter what, you can create dreams with, share achievements with, and person you can grow old with…
Having children was this idea of what you do as a women/wife. Having a part of you and your husband come together to create something new. Having a baby/child would be a shared experience where we commit to loving, protecting, teaching, providing for and sacrificing for.
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How do I cope with it all???
Melodramatic Physician 